Is Wakefulness Good for You?

in Columns/Handguns for Health
A different can of Jolt
Photo: Liftarn (public domain)

As I slowed down to 150 MPH on my way back home from the ammo market, I saw a billboard declaring that all men must get woke.

This initially puzzled me until I realized it was a political statement.

Just as the sound of a Glock G29 can help rejuvenate the mind in the morning after a restless night, perhaps a change of perspective can reinvigorate.

I called up my friend, Joanz, who was busy chugging shots of white lightning after her full-auto workout routine with her trusty Strojnica ERO, and she said something pretty incoherent but it sort of sounded like she was saying something about zombie-minded authoritarians.

I slammed on the brakes as I was about to miss my turnoff to get onto the next road, which requires a toll if you’re not part of the association. I need to join that some time. Fumbling through my pile of glass pipes and rolled-up joints I finally found my payment chit and waved it in front of the couple inside the booth. I wasn’t sure how much attention they were paying to me, so I drove on.

Then it hit me: These so-called woke people really believe that they’re always absolutely right about everything.

Y’Know, this might be curable by a nice long session of firing a Desert Eagle at some Roosevelt dimes with your off hand.

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